You don’t want your organs just randomly flying out into space
- 85 Posts
- 46 Comments
English- •
- 17h
- •
English- •
- 19h
- •
This is still so new for most folks, they’re gonna want it to be as easy as possible at first.
Email uses the same general federation. 😛 Ex Gmail, Hotmail, yahoo
migrate accounts to different servers. Is that right
There’s talk about it for Lemmy and matrix/element iirc, but it’s implemented in neither
- •
- 2d
- •
- •
- 2d
- •
Beehaw surpasses lemmygrad becoming the 2nd most active server. 20 new instances have been created between now and like 2 days ago, we’re at 95 instances
“Step bro you’ve overloading me(lemmy.ml) with your user load” moans Nutomic. And other June 5 Lemmyverse news roundup
Tbh it should really be a separate post, I’m not used to anyone reading posts on this sub let alone commenting.
Tho I also don’t want this sub to be “Beehaw drama and lore” and it would be that if every single beehaw lore update was a separate post.
Changed the OP comment to make this a bit more clear
PG 2 of the Fedizens Times June 5
The Beehaw financial report with alyasha
our hopefully-final update of where we stand is a break-even of $54 a month or $648 a year. (please once again ignore OC’s estimated yearly budget–we don’t determine it lol)
our expenses are currently:
- $48/mo toward our host, Digital Ocean. (reversible. if we need to commit to further than this it is also likely we will seek another host since DO is on the expensive side)
- $2/mo for weekly backups
- $4/mo for daily snapshots of the website, which would allow us to restore the website in between the weekly backups if need be.
for a total of at least $54/mo in expenses. this may vary from month to month though, so we’re baking in a bit of uncertainty with our estimation.
we currently have, for the month of June:
- $85/mo in recurring donations (at least for June)
- $620 this month in one-time donations
for a total of $705 this month. our total balance now stands at 726.51.
that balance means we now have about a year of reserves currently, if we received no other donations and have no unexpected expenses. i’m sure we’ll have churn in our monthly donations and such though, so please don’t hesitate to donate on our OpenCollective page if you’d like to keep the site going.
Screenshot: https://lemmy.perthchat.org/pictrs/image/c94c681c-08be-4a41-82fd-88cf909c41e9.png
No grey highlight
Delete key didn’t work
If its anything like the Twiter migration to mastodon we can look at the experience of fosstodon.org which went from hosting costs of $250/month to $1895.50/month. The leveling out of the infrastructure needs after the peak is well above the pre-peak norm. They are still seeing consistent, steady membership growth after things settled. You can read about it here https://hub.fosstodon.org/more-upgrades-twitter-storm/
Afaik, since may 31, the lemmyverse has only has 3000 new users join. 52 000 users grand total. Which is a 5% increase to userbase since may 31.
I don’t think we actually need more instances to be added atm. Beehaw, sopuli are getting a lot of action, but group.lt only got 3 new users . SO if the recommended server list was inverted to be smallest servers first, the 3000 new ppl could be spread out across the ~50 public servers evenly.
Well, whew again! The influx of new users into Sopuli surprised not only me, but also Hetzner’s VPS. The disk space ran out fast, and Sopuli was down today for many hours because of this. I was busy with work, which didn’t help with the issue.
I bought extra disk space from Hetzner, and the founder of the newly founded Lemmy instance https://lemmy.world !ruud@lemmy.world helped to use it on the VPS. Really big thanks for him! Apologies to both new and old users, hopefully this will not happen again. Happy weekend, everyone!
Yes.
Matrix (the most popular app is Element) is to discord What Lemmy is to reddit.
- •
- 7d
- •
- •
- 7d
- •
Oof, i think that was my mistake, I mean to say oklahoma.io or something, i was plugging a few in can think i misremembered which domain was cheap and available lol
Take a gander at https://join-lemmy.org/docs/en/administration/on_aws.html
Midwest.social welcome party thread: https://midwest.social/post/370897
https://sopuli.xyz/ collapses under the massive weight of redditors with bad gateway
I’m currently fixing it, and making use of the extra storage I got from Hetzner
Well, whew again! The influx of new users into Sopuli surprised not only me, but also Hetzner’s VPS. The disk space ran out fast, and Sopuli was down today for many hours because of this. I was busy with work, which didn’t help with the issue.
I bought extra disk space from Hetzner, and the founder of the newly founded Lemmy instance https://lemmy.world !ruud@lemmy.world helped to use it on the VPS. Really big thanks for him! Apologies to both new and old users, hopefully this will not happen again. Happy weekend, everyone!
“Cold showers have insane effects, and I learnt it from NoFap (one of the only good advices there) when I was in that community 6-7 years ago. It is no pseudoscience, and cold showers really make you superhuman-like.”
@TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my “weird misogyny takes”. No drama, just possibly a simple closure. •
I do gauge myself on the redpill/blackpill part of the spectrum. And I do need to investigate, but it is not easy. But I think it is worth it.
I will not pretend I just pretended everything I said here, because these are indeed my current beliefs. But I will admit I wanted this engagement in comments, to be able to hear the leftist side of things to learn more, since I have watched enough content from the centrist/conservative entities I mentioned. There is now something more for me to ponder over.
I have a question: why is there no guide or recommendations for these kind of topics, the way I make guides for digital privacy? I do have an answer for it in the form of social engagement being a circus, no matter which camp, but it may not be a sufficient answer. Also, anti-imperialism is a large focus of the communist struggle.
Since you head this instance, I do want to tell it is not that I was salty about the ban, but about being called a misogynist with no dialogue exchange. Although most people will not want to consider other POVs unlike me, or are merely outing themselves by mistake, so I think there needs to be a consideration not just for gauging to ban someone, but to have a dialogue. I created this dialogue, nobody wanted to have it with me. And all of you that are talking to me, are doing so because there is a shared trust considering my year long history here, and because some recognise my tech privacy work. I think gauging people needs a lot more work.
Ping @muad_dibber@lemmygrad.ml and other admins for the last paragraph @TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my “weird misogyny takes”. No drama, just possibly a simple closure. •
True but also not having a spine, and accepting every point made as universal truths set in stone is highly wrong. Discussion, until it can be had, allows that tug of war between ideas that decide what falls apart.
Not all that I said can be handwaved, but I do see many points being made here being valid so I can refine whatever I learn. @TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my “weird misogyny takes”. No drama, just possibly a simple closure. •
According to researchers, the 23 percent of participants who only had sex with their spouse prior to getting hitched reported higher quality marriages versus those who had other past sexual partners as well.
I think this has got more to do with sexually frustrated men and women carrying out their dark thoughts, breaking down, healing themselves to become better men and women, ending up becoming more satisfied, since at this point they are over their internal frustration and possibly traumatic issues. Sexual act does serve as a venting outlet. @TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my “weird misogyny takes”. No drama, just possibly a simple closure. •
I will process more diverse literature on this subject, but time is going to tell a lot of things. I do not think society is headed down a very bright path, and we are about to see highly turbulent times which will affect both sexes.
I will keep a cool head and consume multiple sources instead of looking it as a way to deprogram, atleast this is what I can conclude. I am in no way righteous, but I think this is a subject where nobody has correct views. Social interaction goes so deep that even the most experienced extroverts get thrown off regularly. @TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my “weird misogyny takes”. No drama, just possibly a simple closure. •
Why is one country demographic so limiting in this case, when USA’s per capita PPP is extremely high? I would instead argue USA’s cultural westernisation effect carries over to almost all countries sufficiently for this study to be valuable.
You think alcohol and drug abuse leads to a healthy life? It is a sign of deep internal instability. Why can you not see it comes down to these people hating the concept of committing to a partner, using each other like meat, thus revealing personality issues and internalised horrible ideas of how a society should be? @TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my “weird misogyny takes”. No drama, just possibly a simple closure. •
I never said it was necessarily depression. Substance abuse and alcohol abuse clearly is shown there. The concept of pair bonding is true to an extent, depending on how loyal people are. People engaging in casual sex are not loyal or committing people.
I forgot to supplement this with another study, a mistake I will correct now.
And in the same breath, I would recommend this one as well. https://web.archive.org/web/20220124003810/https://ifstudies.org/blog/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability/ @TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • [Vent] I just had the most amazing first date of my life. They blocked me a few hours after. •
I do not have such a narrow tunnel vision mindset. I have healthier and diverse ideas than that. I made a thread putting myself out there, check it out. @TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my “weird misogyny takes”. No drama, just possibly a simple closure. •
Why is polygamy (or in your words promiscuity) inherently worse than monogamy?
The only issues are not limited to verbal acceptance and consent. There is something post that.
The social player thing is not just a woman problem, in fact I’d say it’s worse coming from men. As another commenter said, men do that shit all the time and only when women start to engage in similar behaviors does it become a problem. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with holding certain values for yourself, I myself could never be a social “player” (meaning casually sleeping around, if I’m interpreting that right)
Men can be really aggressive thanks to testosterone, and women are nurturing and the birthgivers of human society. This forms a very large basis behind the social constructs that are binary gender roles we have today, that have remained stagnant since centuries. Biochemistry does not change, our scientific and social understanding grows as humans.
Social player in the way I say means man/woman who plays around with multiple relationship partners, not necessarily having casual sex, but exploiting them for monetary or social validation favours, although in many cases, casual sex is a factor.
I threw myself out here to see the responses I get, so I can read them, and if there are any good recs, which I think is the most important quality of a true leftist – self-critique. I am not sure if I want to stick around because I did not like how I was called a misogynist, silenced for 4 days, and that just made me feel miserable for what are conflicting views and not necessarily Tate-ist ideas. @TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my “weird misogyny takes”. No drama, just possibly a simple closure. •
I do not think the reality is this simple. There is not a speck of doubt that misogyny has existed in society, but men have had their share of inequalities, like being the only demographic group to be conscripted during wars or emergency (includes current Russian SMO), men being the dominant group to be in military or in any dangerous factories or industrial facilities, men never having had an equivalent brotherhood like women have sisterhood throughout the times, men mostly never being given child custody in a broken marriage, and so on.
Moreover, women overwhelmingly prefer traditionalism once they are post 30s, and feminists actively cherrypick traditionalist roles to conform to, despite the general notion being advertised as destroying traditional societal roles. How would you categorise this as, women being okay with misogyny as it benefits them in long term, or women being unfaithful to feminist movement, or feminist movement derailed in some capacity and/or by within itself, or some other explanation? @TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my “weird misogyny takes”. No drama, just possibly a simple closure. •
Regarding polygamy, there is a study that many people will not like. I do not think it is healthy, and just because something has been done eternally, does not mean it is correct to continue doing. Is that not what breaking down the medieval ideas, that still exist in society as it is, all about?
I will try to skim through that literature, thanks for the rec. @TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my “weird misogyny takes”. No drama, just possibly a simple closure. •
I am welcome to enriching my knowledge on these matters, and exposing myself to diverse sources of information. But I cannot guarantee if I will absorb everything as it is. I will take liberty with shaping my worldview. @TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my “weird misogyny takes”. No drama, just possibly a simple closure. •
monogamy
but it’s immediately clear from your writing that you don’t hold them only for yourself but you hold those positions as normative and when you communicate you impose that position on the world.
Explain to me why is polygamy healthier for either of the sexes. In case of women, abusively having sex means personal issues and inability to spiritually bond with future partners, as the “threshold” for satisfaction becomes higher with every partner. In case of men, it simply means an incredible lack of emotion and an internalised hatred towards self and women (extreme conservative views from medieval era play a large role in shaping this idea).
I don’t even think masculinity is a real thing, I think it’s a social construct that has a history, that is to say, it’s a trope or a meme. […] And when you look at the similarities, they are usually the similarities that go along with reinforcing structures of oppression and the rest is just accidental historical window dressing.
Window dressing has been an incredible problem contributing to the worldview shaping. And by calling masculinity a social construct, that allows for everything to be called a social construct, throwing the basis of society’s survival and existence to date out of the window. I do not think this is wise, and in that capacity I disagree. Conservatives act like its still the fucking 18th century, and the other end of the spectrum likes to act that sex is a cheap act and just a venting outlet for other issues, so it is both justified, and in line with the oversexualisation of mass media, so its “normal”.
This does not make you not misogynistic, just like having a black friend doesn’t make you not racist. Also, the idea that being chivalrous is somehow not misogynistic is completely mistaken. Chivalry is literally derived from the word for knight, and we can pretty clearly see how the entire of medieval European society was misogynistic
I did not mean to use it as an escape jail card. But I think it is rare enough that I can use that phrasing legitimately. Chivalry can be interpreted as misogynistic, because of binary gender norms playing into the equation, but I do not think being respectful and courteous is the same as that. Good and nice men exist, and most of them become toxic either because of extreme conservatism (what I try to avoid) or fuckboys/fuckgirls rewarding the wrong behaviours in society.
Monogamy is found throughout the animal world, as is polygamy. Neither is better or worse. The belief that one is generally better or worse is problematic.
We are not animals with nothing else to do than chew on grass/meat and breed like rabbits. Humans have more than just intuition and intelligence. Humans have intellect that distinguishes them from animals. This is not pedanticism.
I want to know what is so misogynistic about traditional views like women often dating for free food
This isn’t a traditional view. This is a false belief. No one has ever dated me for free food. No one I know has I ever dated anyone for free food. No one I know has ever talked about their friends dating someone for free food
I strongly disagree. Freeloading exists significantly. I have no idea what to say if you think this does not exist. Women do it for two reasons – food, and being able to share selfies from lavish hotels on Instagram/Snapchat for social media validation.
I want to know what is so misogynistic about traditional views like Western feminism not being a true representation of feminism, and how much it currently harms mainly men, and creating polarisation between both sexes
Also not a traditional view. This is a full on reactionary view. Feminism does not harm men. Feminism does not create polarization between the sexes. The polarization between men and women is quite literally the history of class society for millennia.
I want you to watch what goes on in this debate on Jubilee. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOUGNGWmN0k (note: no side likes Derrick, the yellow jacket incel, feel free to ignore that idiot)
Feminism, atleast on Western side of the movement, actively seeks to not just harbor, but has also been harming men. Plenty cases of false shaming men in public and in gyms, actively misinterpreting and targeting MRA, and other issues exist.
I saw the boyslockerroom/girlslockerroom case last year in India, on Twitter, during the 3 days that it happened. The girls who faked Snapchat chats on boys allegedly discussing women in a nasty manner, caused one boy to commit suicide one day after feminists started screaming on Twitter, and how women’s police commission must take action on the boy. The girl who fabricated it for social views is free, active on social media and doing whatever she wants. Men’s lives get destroyed in a snap upon accusations these days.
I want to know what is so misogynistic about traditional views psychology of dominance and submission in relationships factoring into the stability of any long term relationships, including marriage
You don’t see what’s so misogynistic about believing that men must dominate women to establish a long-term relationship? Really?
I know what you are saying, and this is why I mentioned it, knowing an obvious response will come to it, and I have no problems saying that what you are saying is correct. But this has a lot to do with biochemistry. Ever seen women who gym and eat a lot of meat, or take testosterone? Ask them or read their testimonies of how they start thinking and acting aggressively. Testosterone causes anyone to be aggressive, which is why men have fought wars, done the physically stressful jobs and acted dominant in relationships and in society. Women being the nurturing caretaker is not some idea that was born out of “toxic mindset”, but rather the simple fact that we are biologically designed in a way that woman is more sensitive, physically vulnerable and due to lack of testosterone, not as aggressive, the way a man is.
I do not think self critique is necessarily part of being a communist, but it is a mark of being a true leftist, which is why I put myself up here for perhaps what might be one of the most controversial posts on here. @TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my “weird misogyny takes”. No drama, just possibly a simple closure. •
Where did you get your ideas about how dating works? Also, you mentioned that some conservative/centrist dating advice has value. What takeaways did you get from them that you found valuable?
Matthew Hussey, Kevin Samuels mainly. For a wider view on society, I like to watch J-Hall and Whatever podcast, not necessarily absorbing everything said on there. There is a point to be made that it mostly covers Western society, but then most of society is heavily influenced by western ideas of socialisation, and since I live in India, I already know what the extreme conservative end looks like.
Whatever podcast has 4-5 hour podcasts that are diverse enough to have a Chinese girl who told mainland is heavily conservative (like India) and has double standards, where if a woman slept with more than one man, she would be called a slut, whereas it would not matter for the man. @TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my “weird misogyny takes”. No drama, just possibly a simple closure. •
What, do you think we treat radfems like comrades or something? Lmfao no.
That clarifies one point, thanks.
Sure, some could have a few traits as mentioned above (only human after all, and some humans are scummy regardless of gender); but to say all women are like that is straight up falling towards Incel/MGTOW territory.
I never said all women. I do not engage in liberal/fascist generalisation behaviours like that. However, many women in urban areas do have one or more of these behaviours, thanks to the incredible amount of sexualisation of mass media creating construed images of reality in womens’ heads.
traditional views like monogamy instead of promiscuity are better
Very, very interesting how rather than using polygamy, you used promiscuity though.
Yes, I wanted to gauge a reaction on this. Polygamy is harmful for both sexes and for society as a whole. I want to cover this bit in the next part where you made a massive generalisation.
You men can get away with bedding lots of women and society barely bats an eye. It’s only when women do the same that you guys start seething.
Let me tell you a few things. Women are the gatekeepers of relationships, which includes sexual relations. If a woman says no, man will go home. And these “you men” are not all men, but probably the 10% fuckboys that engage with a lot of misled women, again, thanks to oversexualisation of mass media. This happens mostly during post teenage years upto early 30s for both sexes.
Another point I want to make is that a woman is considered purer than men for the single most important reason – she has the womb and she has to be in a healthy state to carry the baby. Woman is the one who will procreate, not the man. I know that the fuckboys/fuckgirls rationalisation is imbalanced, which is precisely why I think sex is a sacred thing, and it is not meant to be abused by anyone. Obsession with sex, drugs et al is bad for a valid reason.
Chivalry is dead. Good men never get rewarded with healthy relationships in society, until an arranged marriage in most cases has to happen. Good women either are corrupted by mass media, or get tired of the incredibly conservative families they live in, and end up marrying people they do not inherently truly love.
social code being different for men and women
Are these set in stone, huh? So much for being a fucking leftist if you believe in this regressing shit.
There are certain social codes for men and women that are simply going to exist, unless bizarre things like artificial wombs come into existence, erasing the codependency of man and woman. Yes, there are things that can be improved on both ends, and it is a very long conversation.
What, did you had like bad experiences with women in the past that made you develop these thoughts? Or is it the fact that you got exposed to misogynist youtubers
No bad experiences made me develop particular thoughts. However, one feminist whose friend I loved back in college, did tell me that my self improvement did not matter to anyone, and tried to rage bait me as well. That solidified my thoughts on liberals and not women.
I never watched Tate or Shapiro or the likes, but I try to watch a healthy mix of content, mostly averaging as moderate on the spectrum. Matthew Hussey, Kevin Samuels, J-Hall and Whatever podcast. I keep a very tight hold on what views are shared there, selectively discarding anything that goes too conservative. These tubers are not incels or MGTOW, but closer to a mix of redpill/blackpill, mostly hovering around centre or centre-right.
@TheAnonymouseJoker to Comradeship // Freechat•
•
Before leaving Lemmygrad, I want to have a discussion on my “weird misogyny takes”. No drama, just possibly a simple closure.
Final Edit: I have decided to take a break from here for undecided time. I might come back when sure of myself. Limited activity at main instance. Edit: I am replying, so please refer to them to get an idea of my worldview. Context: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/650259 and these removed comments of mine, before Forte temp banned me ::: spoiler a screenshot of my comments 
::: Before I start off, I want to tell that it is true that I am a cis het male human that holds monogamist views with the mildest of traditional takes. It is also true that despite never having had a real mother or a girlfriend in my life, I never became an incel. My mindset at the core is unapologetically survivalist, independent and masculine. I have also been chivalrous with women, and have been inclusive of the non binary communities. Some people will try to portray this as me never getting female love in life and all kinds of assumption based crap, which I can counter with years of selfless privacy community work. I want to know what is so misogynistic about: * a woman having multiple boyfriends and being a social player, which is very common today in the dating scene * traditional views like monogamy instead of promiscuity are better * social code being different for men and women * women often dating for free food * Western feminism not being a true representation of feminism, and how much it currently harms mainly men, and creating polarisation between both sexes * psychology of dominance and submission in relationships factoring into the stability of any long term relationships, including marriage Is it not deceitful to deny these patterns exist, and to just call someone misogynistic and shut down the conversation? Or have I misunderstood what Lemmygrad means for these kinds of conversations? When did this place become so lib, that people were straight up told to “change your ways before you end up ruining a poor girl’s life”, or how “using ‘male’ and ‘female’ to refer to men and women as if they’re animals” is a terminology that radical feminists would otherwise get excused for? What are these assumed ideas I have that are so batshit crazy, compared to the kinds of values that hardcore masculinity gurus, Tate fans, incels/femcels hold? And what is the defined threshold expected for this place to accommodate people? I hope I do not see a “404:site_ban” before I get to engage and get answers on this, and have a decent conversation. I am not threatening. I merely want a dialogue.
@TheAnonymouseJokerto
Comradeship // Freechat
•
[Vent] I just had the most amazing first date of my life. They blocked me a few hours after.
•
Whose life am I ruining exactly? My views are not even strong enough, what is this reactionary lib behaviour? @TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • [Vent] I just had the most amazing first date of my life. They blocked me a few hours after. •
I used it because a radical feminist used those words against me, making me think it was suitable to use “male” and “female”. Nobody is talking about animals here, so stop misinterpreting. @TheAnonymouseJokerto Comradeship // Freechat • [Vent] I just had the most amazing first date of my life. They blocked me a few hours after. •
It was the first date for OP. There can be women you mention, and they are the ones that do not want to play around. But a lot of women in the dating space do like to play around, either for night outs, free meals, socialising, or whatever reason.
You need not follow the word of nutjobs and cultists to follow conservative/moderate advice on masculinity. Kevin Samuels is a good one, he died recently. I just think they have a good hold of traditionalism, and a lot of those elements hold a lot of value that allows countering a lot of “Western feminism” elements I do not agree with
In the spirit of the sub the users should hash it out with each other 😛